Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am available for nakedness
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
