I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
