Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
