i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
