i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
