in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
