I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
