you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
