I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize