i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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