Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
