the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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