i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
sarcasm needs its own font
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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