I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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