Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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