I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
