Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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