Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
