Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
