There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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