I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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