Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
