She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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