i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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