I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
