Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
