Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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