It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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