He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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