JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
