So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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