New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
