you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
