Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
