one two three fourrrrnication!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
