Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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