he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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