Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
