you guys were way drunker than both of me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I need to stop coming to work sober
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
