My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
