Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
