I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i think i just lost a toe
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
