if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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