i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
