Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
