just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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