Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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