You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The struggles of a small town man whore
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
