I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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