just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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