hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
