it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize