i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
