Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
