I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
