Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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