When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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