My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
