If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
